


In Moments, In Memories

by DeadlyNova



Series: Leopika Family [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Children, Domestic, Family, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kurapika Gets Therapy, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Married Leopika, Parenthood, Side Effects of Emperor Time, Snapshots, Suicide Attempt(Non-Graphic), Trans Kurapika, Trans Male Character, Trans Pregnancy(briefly mentioned), implied major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26009536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyNova/pseuds/DeadlyNova
Summary: The sun is rising when Leorio spots him, sitting in the garden.Kurapika seems to have dragged a chair out there, for some reason. Perhaps he finds the spot relaxing but doesn't want to sit in the dirt.He's wearing a worn out old sun-hat and loose cotton pants, and Leorio is pretty sure the shirt he's wearing actually belongs to him, but it's hard to tell from this distance.There's a pair of gardening gloves abandoned on the earth next to his feet, and Leorio remembers gifting him that very pair, several years ago, when Kurapika told him he was tired of taking life and wanted to help create it.How many years had it been, since then? Since Kurapika had shown up on his doorstep, looking like he'd been to hell and back, and told him that he was done? Done killing the spiders, done retrieving the eyes, and done with life in general? Leorio couldn't remember. He didn't really want to.Kurapika never had the heart to tell him how long it was likely he had left to live, and Leorio never had the heart to ask.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: Leopika Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992412
Comments: 45
Kudos: 200





	In Moments, In Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Please Read:  
> This fic contains:  
> -A suicide attempt. It is not graphic or described at all, not even the method of doing so.  
> -A trans male character giving birth to children. It is only talked about and then there are children.  
> -Implied character death. 
> 
> Also note:  
> This fic is very flashback heavy. I tried to make it as obvious as possible when it switches between the actual timeline of the fic and flashbacks. Every time there is a line break you go to a flashback. The flashbacks are also in past-tense while the rest of the fic is in present-tense. 
> 
> Please let me know if you see any mistakes, as I only proof-read this once!
> 
> Other than that, enjoy, and I'm sorry in advance!

The sun is rising when Leorio spots him, sitting in the garden. 

Kurapika seems to have dragged a chair out there, for some reason. Perhaps he finds the spot relaxing but doesn't want to sit in the dirt. 

He's wearing a worn out old sun-hat and loose cotton pants, and Leorio is pretty sure the shirt he's wearing actually belongs to him, but it's hard to tell from this distance. 

There's a pair of gardening gloves abandoned on the earth next to his feet, and Leorio remembers gifting him that very pair, several years ago, when Kurapika told him he was tired of taking life and wanted to help create it. 

How many years had it been, since then? Since Kurapika had shown up on his doorstep, looking like he'd been to hell and back, and told him that he was done? Done killing the spiders, done retrieving the eyes, and done with life in general? Leorio couldn't remember. He didn't really want to. 

Kurapika never had the heart to tell him how long it was likely he had left to live, and Leorio never had the heart to ask. 

So as the years went by, he stopped counting them. He preferred to measure in moments, in memories. 

The day he finally told Kurapika just how he felt about him, their first kiss, the first time they slept together, their wedding day, the days their children were born...

He wouldn't trade those for the world. 

Leorio quietly shuts the door behind him, stepping into the yard. If Kurapika hears him, he doesn't turn his head. He doesn't even acknowledge him until Leorio's standing beside him. 

"It's a lovely morning, isn't it?" 

Leorio's eyes drift down to Kurapika. He still isn't looking at him, instead he's staring off at the sunrise. 

"Not as lovely as you." 

Leorio can't help his smile when Kurapika snorts at him, finally turning to meet his eyes. 

"It's far too early in the morning for you to be flirting, you know." 

"Was I flirting? I thought I was just stating the facts." 

Leorio grins harder when Kurapika rolls his eyes at him before turning back to look at the sky. 

"Why'd you bring a chair out here, anyway? You too good to stand?" 

"I was feeling a bit fatigued, but I still wanted to watch the sunrise...and I didn't want to sit in the dirt." 

Leorio nods. Kurapika _has_ been feeling a bit tired lately. He doesn't want to think about what that might mean. He won't allow himself to. 

"Well, I'd sit with you, but I don't wanna sit in the dirt either." 

Kurapika turns and looks up at him, smiling cheekily. "Are _you_ too good to stand?" 

"Hey, I had a thirteen hour shift yesterday, my legs feel like noodles." 

Kurapika laughs at him again, this one barely audible. "Why are you up so early, then, doctor?" 

Leorio still feels a flutter in his chest when Kurapika calls him 'doctor'. It's become a bit of a pet name, he supposes. He wouldn't ever live it down if his coworkers found out about that, though. And he wouldn't live it down if Kurapika found out it still gave him butterflies, either. 

So he suppresses his goofy grin, going instead for a smile that he hopes looks normal enough. "The bed was cold." 

"Really now? Surely my not being there wouldn't make much of a difference in that regard, you _are_ always complaining about how cold my feet are." 

"Only because you like to dig them into my shins!" 

"I can't help it, your reaction is far too entertaining." Kurapika's looking at him again, biting his lip to hold back his laughter, and Leorio feels so, _so_ fond.

* * *

It was 3am and pouring rain when he heard a loud knock on his apartment door. 

He'd ignored it at first. Someone probably had the wrong address, who the hell would visit him at three in the morning?

But the knock persisted. Got louder, even. When he couldn't drown it out by pulling the pillow over his head, he gave in, tumbling out of bed and stumbling to the front door, yelling all the while.

"What the hell do you want?!" 

When he yanked the door open he saw the last person he expected to see.

"...Kurapika?" 

Kurapika. It was Kurapika. He looked like he was on death's door. He was soaking wet, for one thing, although that was understandable given the fact it was raining. Besides that fact, though, was the fact he clearly hadn't slept in days, and by the way his clothes hung on his frame Leorio was pretty sure he hadn't been eating well, either. His eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed, and the bags under them looked almost painful. 

"You look like shit." 

Kurapika let out a watery laugh. "Hello to you too, Leorio..." 

Leorio ushered him inside. 

He didn't even know what to say to him. He was at a complete loss. Before he could get another word out, Kurapika spoke. 

"It's done." 

"What? What's done?"

"Everything." 

Oh. 

"Oh? That's..that's good, then." 

"I suppose..." 

Leorio thought about how Kurapika dedicated his life to revenge and putting his people to rest. He thought about how nothing else had mattered to him for such a long time now. 

What would he do now?

"I'm happy for you." 

"You are?" 

"I am. You can finally live for yourself now." 

When Kurapika didn't respond for a minute, Leorio prompted him. "Kurapika?" 

Kurapika seemed antsy. "I should be going now. I just...wanted to see you. And to tell you that." 

"Wait, you're leaving?" 

"Yes, I'm finished." 

"Then that's even more reason to stay, right?" Leorio didn't like the uneasy feeling he was getting from this conversation. 

"I have no reason to do that." 

"We can catch up?" 

Kurapika was silent again. He seemed very...off. 

When he didn't speak again, Leorio grabbed his arm to pull him the rest of the way into the apartment, ignoring the way he dripped onto the carpet. "Come on, let's get you dried off. You're staying here tonight." 

Leorio didn't want to imagine what would have happened if he let Kurapika leave that night.

* * *

"Let's go inside." Kurapika reaches down to pick his gloves up off the ground before standing and walking towards the house, leaving the chair. He probably expects Leorio to get it. He does. 

He shuts the door quietly behind him. The children are asleep, after all. 

As Kurapika busies himself with making them both coffee, Leorio finds himself standing in front of the refrigerator. 

It's covered in crayon drawings. Some were mere scribbles, some were more clearly supposed to be of him and Kurapika alongside the very children who had drawn them. There's drawings of Killua and Gon, of Alluka, of Melody, and of several other important adults in their lives. 

Their children really are true artists in their own right. 

"If you keep standing there your coffee is going to get cold." 

"What's more important, reminiscing or coffee?" 

Kurapika looks thoughtful as he rests his chin in his palm. "Depends on how tired you are, I suppose." 

"You're heartless. Reminiscing is more important every time." 

"Perhaps your heart is just far too big for its own good." Kurapika's smiling at him now, and, despite the far-off, tired look in his eyes, he looks positively radiant as always. "Either way, those drawings aren't going anywhere, but your coffee might if you don't hurry and get over here." 

"And where's my coffee gonna go?" 

"In my mouth." 

* * *

"Leorio, if I asked you to, could you kill me?" 

Leorio felt his heart nearly stop. This had to be a joke, right?

"W-what?" Leorio laughed awkwardly. "What are you talking about?" 

"I don't...." Kurapika sighed, picking at a piece of skin on his thumb. "I don't wish to be alive anymore, Leorio." 

He was pretty sure his heart _had_ stopped, this time. Broken, too.

It had only been a few days since Kurapika had showed up on his doorstep, but he'd seemed to be doing alright. Well, as alright as could be expected of him right now. 

Clearly that wasn't the case. 

"Kurapika...." 

"I'm sorry. It's too much to ask of you. Forget about it." 

"No." 

"No?" 

"I'm not gonna just...forget about that." Leorio could feel the tears coming, but he tried to hold them back. "Kurapika...you really want to die?"

"I...I have nothing to live for anymore, and-" 

Leorio wasted no time pulling him into a crushing hug. 

* * *

The coffee is just how Leorio likes it. After all these years together, he expects nothing less. Kurapika knows him better than anyone, after all. 

"You have something on your mind, Leorio?" 

"Yeah...I'm just....reminiscing." 

"So you said a moment ago. About what?" 

"Nothing in particular, just..." He gestures between them. "Just us, I guess." 

"I see." Kurapika sips his coffee. The green paint on his mug is chipped. Leorio remembers Gon being the one to give it to him for his birthday, some years ago. He can't say how many, he did stop counting them, after all. He continues after a beat of silence. "Good memories, I hope?" 

"I wouldn't trade any memory with you for the world, whether it's good or bad." 

* * *

It took Leorio forever to admit that he alone wasn't enough to bring Kurapika back. 

He wouldn't be able to stop him if he tried to hurt himself, or, worse, kill himself.

He wasn't sure if he'd actually try it, but he had a very hard time knowing what Kurapika was thinking, lately. 

Leorio didn't even recognize him these days. He was an empty shell when compared to the passionate and fiery young man he'd met all those years ago at the Hunter Exam. 

He hadn't left Leorio's apartment since that night he'd shown up on his doorstep. He wasn't even sure he had anywhere to go. 

Kurapika spent his days staring out the window, or staring at a book. Leorio never saw him turn the pages. 

When he proposed therapy he saw a small glimpse of that fire again. 

"I'm not going." 

"Please?" 

"No." 

"Kurapika-" 

"What goes on inside my head is no one's business but my own." 

Leorio groaned and placed his head in his hands. "Kurapika..."

"It's also none of your concern, Leorio." 

"Are you being serious right now?!" 

"Yes. Leave me be." 

"I won't!!" 

* * *

"Hm." It's Leorio's turn to close his eyes and rest his chin in his hand. He watches Kurapika take another sip of coffee, closing his eyes this time. He lets out a sigh. "Bad ones then, I presume?" 

"I told you, I wouldn't trade any memory with you for the world, whether it's good or bad." 

* * *

Kurapika tried to kill himself. 

He'd failed, somehow, but he'd tried. 

Leorio tried to think that it was actually an attempt to force himself to get the help he needed. Deep down he knew that, if Kurapika really wanted to kill himself, he could do so quite easily with a very low chance of failure. 

So he liked to think that Kurapika didn't actually want to die. 

That thought was the only thing that kept him going as the days ticked by that Kurapika was still in the hospital. 

* * *

"If you insist." 

Leorio watches as Kurapika stands up and walks back over to the coffee maker, filling up his mug once more. This has to be at least his third cup. 

"You know, you shouldn't drink so much coffee. It's not good for you." 

Kurapika seems like he's going to say something, but he holds his tongue. After a moment he finally speaks. "I told you, I'm tired." 

"It _is_ early, why don't you go back to sleep?" 

"I don't wish to sleep right now." 

"If you say so." 

Kurapika walks back over to the table and looks like he's going to sit back down, but hesitates. Instead he walks into the living room and sits on the couch, gently setting his mug on the side table. 

"Leorio, come sit with me." 

Leorio raises his eyebrow. Kurapika is usually _so_ insistent that they do _not_ , under _any_ circumstances, eat or drink in the living room. He's drilled it so hard into their children that Leorio finds himself often being yelled at by both them and Kurapika whenever he tries to sneak something in there in hopes they won't notice. 

"You're drinking coffee on the couch?"

"The children are asleep, they won't know." 

"Wow, aren't _you_ naughty today, Kurapika?!" 

"Shut up." Kurapika shoves at him gently as he joins him on the couch, laughing quietly. 

After they settle down Kurapika slides closer to him, wrapping his arms around Leorio's and resting his head on his shoulder. 

"Wow, you're affectionate this morning." 

"You say that as if I regularly deprive you of affection." 

"You do, all the time." 

"That is a lie." 

"Sometimes you won't even let me touch you...it hurts. So bad." 

"That's because you need to learn to keep your hands to yourself in front of our friends and children." 

"I'm not gonna do anything dirty in front of them!" 

"You lack self control and get carried away far too easily. It may start as something innocent like an arm around my shoulder or waist, but I will never forget or let you live down that time you groped my ass in front of Killua and Alluka." 

Leorio snorts. "They thought it was funny!" 

"Well _I_ thought it was distasteful." 

"Because you're a pru-OW! _Hey_!" 

Leorio rubs his arm where Kurapika had pinched him. Hard. 

"You deserve it." 

"No I don't!" 

"Be quiet." 

"Why should I?" 

"I want to cuddle you without your voice droning on in my ear." 

"Oh. I guess if we get to cuddle I won't complain, then." 

"That would be wise." 

* * *

Therapy did Kurapika a lot of good. 

He seemed to mostly be back to his old self. Well, not the adventurous child that Leorio had never met, but the hot-headed and sarcastic young man he'd met during the Hunter Exam was definitely back. And so was all of the teasing and bickering that came with him. 

And he was so, _so_ glad. 

He wasn't sure what all Kurapika had talked about with his therapist. He wasn't going to ask, it was none of his business. He was just glad that he was doing better now and that he was finally able to live for himself and not solely for revenge. It was all he'd ever wanted for him. 

* * *

They sit in silence for a bit. Ten minutes, twenty, maybe. He's not completely sure, to be honest.

Kurapika is playing with his fingers. He's always been fascinated with his hands. Leorio can't help but smile as he watches Kurapika run a finger over his wedding ring. 

"I love you, Leorio." 

* * *

"I love you, Kurapika." 

Kurapika blinked up at him, his eyes going wide. "What?" 

"I said I love you." 

"Of...of course you do, we are close friends, after all. I..I couldn't imagine that you didn't hold some regard for me in your heart." 

Leorio laughed. 

"Don't laugh at me, Leorio!" 

He laughed harder. 

* * *

"I love you too." Kurapika lets out a small hum and nuzzles further into his shoulder as Leorio kisses him on the forehead. "You really are being _awfully_ affectionate this morning, what gives?" 

"Am I not allowed to be affectionate towards my own husband?" 

"Well obviously, but you gotta admit it's a bit out of character." 

"I'm reminiscing too, I suppose." 

"Oh? About what?" 

"Just how much you mean to me." 

* * *

Shockingly, Kurapika was the one to kiss him first. 

He'd approached Leorio one evening after he'd come home from school with a very determined look on his face. It had been two days since Leorio's love confession, and he'd given Kurapika time to mull it over. He seemed to finally have concluded that Leorio did not in fact mean it in a platonic way. 

Because, as Leorio sat on the corner of his bed looking up at him, one sock half removed from his foot, Kurapika kissed him. 

Leorio was so shocked he'd fallen backwards onto the bed, taking Kurapika with him. As sexy and fun as something like that sounded in theory, it wasn't in reality. He bashed his nose on Kurapika's forehead, and Kurapika bashed his onto Leorio's chin, and neither of them had a very good time. 

Their second kiss was much better. 

* * *

"How romantic!" 

"I'm being serious, Leorio. 

"When aren't you being serious?" 

"I can tell jokes, they're just too advanced for your tiny brain to understand." 

"I went to medical school!!" 

"And yet you still didn't understand that that was a joke...." 

"God dammit!" 

"Don't be so loud, you'll wake the children." 

"Oh shit. Oops." 

"Anyhow, I was thinking about how much you mean to me. I don't think I tell you enough. I wouldn't be here without you." 

"Kurapika..." 

"I'm not done." 

"Sorry." 

"Thank you for being here for me. Back when I needed a support system and even more so right now. I never thought I could be this happy." 

"Kurapika..." 

"I never pictured this life for myself, especially after....well, everything that happened. I figured that I would complete my mission and then die alone. I never thought I would get married or have a family. I thought I wouldn't want that, either." 

* * *

"Marry me." 

"This is the least dignified proposal ever, Leorio." 

"Please marry me..." 

"You're drunk." 

Leorio was definitely drunk when he'd asked Kurapika to marry him, but that didn't mean he meant it any less. 

He felt like he was being rejected. He started crying like a baby. In retrospect, it was very embarrassing. They weren't even alone. They were at a _Christmas party_ , surrounded by _other people_. He was surprised Kurapika didn't murder him when they got home that night.

"Leorio...what..are you seriously crying right now?" 

"You don't love me!" 

"What?? Of course I love you!" 

"You don't wanna marry me..." 

"I-" Kurapika's face was bright red. "O-of course I do, but...you're completely drunk right now!" 

"You hate me!!" He was full on sobbing now, burying his face in Kurapika's chest. 

"Leorio!! Can you not do this right now??" 

He asked properly the next morning, after apologizing profusely. 

Kurapika said yes. 

* * *

"Well I'm glad your plans changed." 

"Me too." 

* * *

They had a traditional Kurta wedding. Well, as close to one as they could, given the fact that Kurapika was only twelve when he'd left his village, and had only been to a very small handful of weddings as a child. 

He'd sewn garments for the entire wedding party himself, by hand. It had taken him months. Every time anyone offered to help he had ushered them away, mumbling something about a 'certain stitch' and insisting that it would take far longer for him to teach them the proper way to sew Kurta clothing than to just make them himself. 

Leorio didn't dare bother him about it, as he seemed so focused on the task that he was downright scary. 

Ever since he started therapy, Kurapika seemed intensely focused on preserving the Kurta culture, rather than mourning its loss. When he'd asked Leorio if they could have a Kurta wedding, there was no way he would refuse. 

The ceremony was lovely. It wasn't too much different than a regular wedding, Leorio was pretty sure. He hadn't actually ever attended one before. 

The clothing wasn't half bad, either. He never thought it looked very comfortable when Kurapika wore it, but he actually found it to be quite comfortable, if a little hot. 

He figured he might look a little ridiculous in it, though. But Kurapika didn't seem to think so. In fact, he'd never seen so much adoration in his eyes. Kurapika was looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world, and he was sure he was doing the same. Because Kurapika had been the most precious thing in the world to him since they day he fell in love with him. 

* * *

"This conversation is rather depressing, let's not talk about negative things anymore." 

"Is talking about how I changed your life for the better really a negative thing?" 

"Only on the days I remember exactly how much you annoy me." 

"Kurapika, I'm serious." 

"It's not. It's not a negative thing at all. I just...don't want to think about the alternative, is all." 

Leorio wraps an arm around his husband, pulling him tighter to his side. 

* * *

"I want to have children." 

"You mean, like, adopt?" 

"No, Leorio. I'd like to have biological children. With you." 

Leorio gaped. 

Sure, the two of them _could_ have biological children, but he never imagined Kurapika would want to. He didn't want to imagine the toll carrying children would take on him psychologically. 

"W-what? Are you sure?" 

"I don't want the Kurta bloodline and culture to die with me, Leorio. I owe them that." 

Kurapika had that determined, stubborn look on his face, so it was clear to Leorio that this is what he truly wanted. 

And it wasn't like Leorio was going to object. He'd always been the paternal type, so having children sounded like a dream come true for him. 

And it was.

* * *

There's a loud thump upstairs, followed by several smaller, quieter ones. 

"Looks like we're about to have company in three, two, one-" 

"Good _morning_!" 

* * *

Their firstborn was a daughter. 

She was so small. She was born premature, and Leorio was scared. He was scared something would go wrong. That he'd lose Kurapika _and_ their daughter, who he hadn't even met yet. 

But everything was fine. Nothing was wrong, she was just small, and now they had a child. 

He let Kurapika name her. He called her Melody, after one of the very few people he'd let into his life, and one of the very few people who had changed it.

And it was a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. 

When Leorio watched the two of them, Kurapika and little Melody, he felt like his heart might burst. 

The way Kurapika was looking at her....it looked like he finally realized he had something to live for. 

* * *

"Good morning, Melody." 

"It's a beautiful day!" 

"That it is. Where's your brother?" 

"He's too slow to keep up with me." 

"You know you're supposed to help him down the stairs. He may stumble on his own." 

"That's not _my_ fault." The way she rolls her eyes reminds Leorio so much of Kurapika, and he finds himself laughing. 

"Don't encourage her, Leorio." 

"Sorry." 

"I'll go get him." As Kurapika stands to go get their son, Melody jumps onto Leorio's lap. 

"Good morning, Father." 

Leorio's the one to roll his eyes this time. She'd taken to calling him 'Father' instead of 'Daddy' ever since she'd turned six and decided she was too old for such a childish name. Leorio misses it and hopes she'll change her mind again soon, as he really isn't the type for such a title as 'Father'.

"Good morning, Daughter." She giggles as Leorio tries to straighten her messy, crooked, clearly slept in blonde pigtails. 

* * *

"You look even more tired than usual." 

Kurapika gestured to the baby in his arms like Leorio was stupid. 

"She woke up five times last night. I got up every single time. What do you expect?" 

Leorio smiled sheepishly. "Really? I didn't even hear." 

"That's because you sleep like the dead." 

"I can...try to get up next time?" 

"Don't worry about it." 

"But-" 

"It's _fine_ , Leorio." 

Leorio had become a fully fledged doctor earlier that year, and had been working very long hours ever since. Kurapika was 'retired' as he put it, and thus was a stay at home parent. Leorio had almost questioned his use of 'retired' once, but thought better of it. He supposed when you became a mafia boss at eighteen retiring in your late twenties wasn't that strange, but it didn't stop the confused looks he got when he told people he was 'retired', especially when he refused to tell them what his line of work had been. 

Still, Leorio felt bad. They were both this baby's parents, after all. 

Kurapika seemed to realize the war going on inside his head. He sighed.

"Leorio, really, it's fine. Don't worry. You need your sleep to go out and save people's lives, after all. I barely sleep as it is, losing a little more won't hurt me. Besides, she'll sleep through the night eventually." 

"Okay." 

* * *

Leorio thinks it's pretty ironic that, despite him barely doing anything for her when she was a baby, he's Melody's favorite out of the two of them. 

"Do you work today?" 

"Nope." 

Her face brightens impossibly more, considering she'd already been grinning before. "Can we go to the park?" 

"Maybe. We'll see what Dad says, okay?" 

She pouts. "If he says no will you secretly take me?" 

"Do you wanna get me killed?" 

Melody laughs again, and she sounds so much like Kurapika that it's not even funny. 

At that moment, speak of the devil, Kurapika comes back downstairs, their son in his arms. 

* * *

Their second child was a son. 

Kurapika had named him Pairo, after his childhood best friend. Leorio felt his heart ache a little when Kurapika chose that name, but he wouldn't ever, couldn't ever, object to it, no matter how much he knew it hurt at first to refer to their son by that name. 

Unlike his sister, Pairo came right when he was supposed to, with absolutely no complications. 

He supposed that all also boiled over into how he behaved as a baby. In contrast to his sister, he had slept through the night very early on, and he barely cried. He was the most well behaved baby Leorio had ever met, it had even worried him for a while. 

But everything was fine, he was just actually a good, well behaved baby. 

Where Melody was fire, Pairo was water. 

When he was very small Leorio would often come home to find Kurapika laying there with him, staring at him, seemingly searching for something in his face. Something lost. 

He didn't understand, and he couldn't pretend to, really. 

* * *

When Kurapika steps back into the room, little Pairo in his arms, clutching onto him, Melody leaps from Leorio's lap and runs over to him. 

"Dad, Dad, Dad!" 

"Yes?" 

"Can we go to the park?" 

"Yes." 

Melody's grin nearly splits open her face as she excitedly turns back to Leorio. "He said yes!" 

"I heard." 

Leorio and Kurapika both laugh as she dances around the room. 

"We aren't going until your hair is decent, though." 

"It's fine like this!" 

"No it isn't." 

Kurapika sets Pairo down on the floor as he goes to wrangle their daughter into letting him brush her hair, and Pairo wanders up to Leorio, his thumb in his mouth. They've been trying to get him to break the habit(well, Kurapika has, Leorio's found that he's far too soft to try, himself), but he won't budge. 

"Good morning, buddy." 

Leorio isn't able to understand his response because of the thumb in his mouth. Maybe Kurapika is right in that they should break him of this. 

He reaches out and tugs the digit out, laughing at his son's furrowed eyebrows. 

"I can't understand you when your thumb is in your mouth, you know." 

"My thumb likes bein' in my mouth, Daddy." 

"Does it, now?" 

"Yeah." Aaaand it's in his mouth again. Leorio sighs. 

* * *

As soon as Pairo learned to walk he followed Kurapika everywhere he went. It was mostly endearing, but sometimes he could sense Kurapika becoming a little frustrated, like when he wanted to take a relaxing bath, or read a book in peace, or just do anything that having a toddler at your heels would make more difficult. 

Leorio tried to stop him, often bringing him along with him to do something else, or pulling him out of the room, or giving him toys to play with, but Pairo was very attached to Kurapika, and every time Leorio took him away from him he would cry, and Leorio was weak. 

Thankfully they broke him of the habit eventually. Now he mostly took to following his sister around, although not to the same extent as he had Kurapika. Melody seemed to take the leadership role with immense pride. The two of them were quite the pair. 

* * *

As soon as Kurapika manages to get Melody's hair brushed and both children are dressed they head out the door. 

It's a short walk to the park. Pairo rides on Leorio's shoulders, his chubby fingers gripping his hair, and Melody clutches Kurapika's hand, tugging it with her as she runs wildly around his feet, going on about her day at school yesterday, despite the fact she had told him all about it when she'd gotten home. 

When they arrive at the park Leorio and Kurapika sit on a nearby bench as the children run off to play.

Kurapika has put his sun-hat back on again. He reaches over and grips Leorio's hand. 

But Kurapika isn't looking at him right now, he's looking at the children. Watching them as they play and run around. 

"It's amazing." 

"What is?" 

"I never thought I'd be a father." 

"You don't regret it, though, right?" 

"Never. Those two, and you, are the greatest things that ever happened to me." 

Kurapika turns to look at him. 

"Leorio?" 

"Hm?" 

"Promise me something." 

"Anything." 

"Don't let them forget me." 

"Hey, what did I tell you about talking like that?" 

Kurapika looks like he may cry. 

"Please, Leorio. Promise me." 

"Okay...I promise." 

"Don't let them forget the Kurta language and culture. I've..done so much to try to preserve it, just for them...I wanted...there was so much I wanted to teach them, but they're still so young...and...there's just...not enough time..." 

* * *

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm making a Kurta dictionary." 

"At 3am?" 

"Yes." 

"I thought you did that last week?" 

"No, last week I transcribed the entire history of the Kurta clan."

"Didn't you do that already?" 

"No, all I'd done before that was write down various Kurta customs and other things like that." 

"Like what?" 

Kurapika gestured vaguely with his free hand, not looking up from what he was writing. "Like detailed instructions on how to sew various Kurta garments, details on different Kurta ceremonies and holidays, etcetera." 

"I see." Leorio couldn't help his fond smile. He was so glad Kurapika found something worth living for. 

"Don't wait up for me." 

"I won't. Just try to get to bed before the sun comes up, okay?" 

"I will." 

* * *

Kurapika is definitely about to cry. 

"Hey, hey, Kurapika, it's okay..." 

"No it isn't...." 

"They're not...they're not gonna forget you, or your culture. It's a part of them, too. And you've done everything to make sure they won't forget." 

"They're still so young, Leorio...I don't...I don't want to..." He buries his face in his hands and lets out a shaky sigh. 

Leorio wraps an arm tightly around him, and he's trembling. 

"Come on, it's not like you to have a breakdown on a bench in a public park..." Leorio knows his worry shows in his voice, but he's trying not to let it. 

Kurapika sits up after a moment, seemingly having composed himself. 

"You're right, I'm sorry." 

"You don't have to apologize to me for that..." 

"I'm causing you unnecessary worry." 

"It's okay." 

* * *

Leorio stands in the doorway as Kurapika tells the children a bedtime story in a language he only vaguely understands. 

The two of them were already fluent in both Kurta and the Hunter language. Leorio suspected Pairo actually knew Kurta better than his native language. Melody could even read and write in both, and, unrelated to language but still very impressive, Kurapika had taught her to sew when she was only five. The two of them were so incredibly smart, and Leorio couldn't be more proud. 

He was proud of Kurapika, too. He'd never imagined he'd come this far. He'd never imagined that he'd go from nearly getting himself killed every day to telling their children bedtime stories. 

Leorio never imagined that he himself would go from worrying day in and day out that the man he loved would disappear or be found dead somewhere to watching him tell their children bedtime stories. 

* * *

They go home shortly after that. 

The two of them make lunch in near silence, not even needing to speak, working in sync after years of doing so. Leorio wants to say something, but, ever since the park, Kurapika has had this...distant look on his face. It's one he hasn't seen in years, and it's one that worries him so, so very much. 

Lunch is fine. The children talk a lot, they bicker, they try to push one another out of their chairs, but other than one firm scolding, Kurapika is silent. He just watches them with misty eyes. 

* * *

When Kurapika makes each of the children their first traditional Kurta garment, he beams. 

Leorio does too. He can't help it. Watching Kurapika be so happy makes him happy too. 

And so does watching the children. He watches as Melody spins around and her skirt flows around her, and he watches as Pairo looks down at his outfit with a huge grin on his face. 

He doesn't think he's seen Kurapika look that happy in a long, long time. 

* * *

They tuck the children into bed, and if Leorio notices Kurapika lingering a little longer than usual he doesn't say anything. 

If he notices him saying 'I love you.' more times than usual, or kissing the childrens' heads more than once, he doesn't say anything. 

As soon as they've left the childrens' room and gone into their own, Kurapika breaks down. 

He's clutching onto him, crying into his chest, and Leorio has _never_ seen him cry like this. 

He finds himself crying, too. 

"Leorio, I don't want to die!" 

Leorio swallows, clutching Kurapika tighter. He tries to hide the tremor in his voice. "Hey, w-what did I say about talking like that?" 

Kurapika holds tighter to him, and he strokes his hair. He speaks, his voice barely above a whisper. "I...I actually have something to live for now...I want to live now..." His grip on Leorio is bordering on painful. 

"Y-you're not gonna-" 

"I threw away my whole life and now I actually have something I want to live for! It isn't fair!" 

Leorio can't hold back his tears anymore, and the both of them are full on sobbing, clutching one another in their arms. 

"I want to live! For you, for Melody, and for Pairo!" 

Leorio can't even say anything, he just clutches Kurapika tighter. 

He doesn't know how long they will have together. It could be minutes, days, weeks, months, or years. 

It doesn't matter. 

Because no matter how much time it is, or how little, it won't be enough. 

So he'll just have to keep measuring in moments and memories.

Even if today is Kurapika's very last.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment your thoughts. It's 9:59am and I started writing this at 12:30am and literally did not stop even once. I stayed up all night to write this.....hope it didn't hurt you TOO much. 
> 
> tumblr: kirishimasmom


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